Matters Biographical
The Author was born in a manger on his birthday, in the summer of love of the year punk broke. His birth was attended by an archangel, a cub radio reporter and a full conclave of the Nobel committee bearing gold, franking machines and murgh.
He started writing poetry when he was nine days old and published his first collection, to universal rapture, at the age of three. He has been anthologised in such collections as “The Qu’ran”, Jane’s Fighting Ships Gulf War Special Edition and “Hangover Dismount - a Survey of the Shoreditch Underground”.
At 21, The Author became a full member of the UN Security Council, and performed his poetry at a gala dinner for Boutros-Boutros Ghali.
The Author is a proud author and refers to himself only in the third person. He has a running commission from Hallmark Cards and sleeps with a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself in the regalia of a court minstrel.
The Author is a great poet and a wonderful, sensitive man.
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