Veal on wheels
I was talking to a bloke at work about how humanely-raised meat typically tastes better than meat which has been raised in a tiny cubicle with feeding tubes stuck down its gullet. I said I thought you could really taste the happiness of free-range chickens when you ate them - roast, for example - compared with battery chickens. Even with the eggs, which don’t range at all in themselves, you can tell they had a good life, after the fashion of eggs.
John agreed with me and illustrated the point with an anecdote. A friend of his is a shitkicker of some sort and one of his cows gave birth to a calf with no forelegs. Apparently the farmer, whose name was Colin, decided to take advantage of the poor creature’s immobility by feeding it intensively with the aim of producing an extra meaty and succulent roast, to feed all the family, and farmers even today have bigger families than ordinary people. But the plan failed, because the veal was tasteless. The misery of the calf’s life had transmitted itself to the meat in an evolutionary attempt to deter harsh treatment of animals, especially invalid ones.
Obviously what Colin did with his calf was extremely cruel, and would have been so even if the meat had been the tastiest conceivable. If I had been Colin, I would have used my noggin and fitted a pair of wheels, on braced crutches with soft leather straps, where the forelegs should have been. Then I could have charged people admittance to view the merry beast (John didn’t know if Colin ever named it) gambolling around its own little paddock, and later (but not too much later) on, once it had lived a life of ease and society, insofar as wheeled calves are able to, I could have savoured it.
This entry was posted on Monday, January 29th, 2007 at 3:14 PM and filed under New stuff. Trackbacks are closed.
This would also explain why oxtail soup tastes so foul. I mean, no ox is going to be very happy is he? Not after what he’s been through.
Posted on 29-Jan-07 at 7:47 pm | PermalinkSo, the lesson is, eat your bull before he gets castrated.
Is it wrong that my first thought was, “If I were a cannibal, who would be the best person to eat using this criteria?”…To my dismay, I couldn’t think of anyone happy enough to make me hungry.
Posted on 29-Jan-07 at 9:44 pm | Permalinkjsut remember to remove the part time leg appendages before eating as they may ruin the roast experience.
Posted on 30-Jan-07 at 2:35 am | PermalinkThis is a wonderful oddment you bring before us for our delectation.
Posted on 30-Jan-07 at 5:40 am | PermalinkAw menace - you’re all heart ….
Posted on 30-Jan-07 at 6:19 am | Permalinkfez: I like bulls but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
OOC: how about Rachel Ray? She’s about the happiest person I can think of.
jimi: sage advice as ever.
frunt: your delectation is my sole concern.
pog: better than that, I’m all heart of gold.
Posted on 30-Jan-07 at 11:19 am | PermalinkSo, should one always sneak up on an animal before butchering them? If they see you coming they’re really not gonna die happy. Maybe, the trick is to stick them all in front of some naughty animal videos, and then sneak up on them while they’re happiest.
Posted on 31-Jan-07 at 3:39 am | PermalinkI agree. Altho in my whole life I have eaten such a small amount of meat from battery hens/animals with horrible lives so I’m not sure I could tell the difference. I eat organic free range stuff on principle.
Posted on 06-Feb-07 at 6:26 am | Permalink