Three paragraphs ending in “nt”
I have a fairly strong contempt for people who use fonts other than Arial 9 or 10. My boss for example, I recently changed a document of his from Book Antiqua to Arial, and he came into my ofice and asked me why I did that. Actually what he said was “was there a reason why you changed the font?” As if I would do such a thing for no reason at all, as if I were some kind of reasonless animal, a macaque. Worse than a macaque, a fish, something with no brain at all. I told him he could change it back if he wanted, and he did, the cunt.
Maybe I am a font-fascist, but that’s not the point. Or it is the point but it’s a legitimate point; I feel justified in my contempt. I can’t help but take fonts personally. If someone gives me a document and it’s in Palatino Linotype, or Book Antiqua, or horror of horrors, this happened recently, Comic Sans MS, I take it as a personal insult, an affront. An affont. Because I don’t know why. Because of the assumption that I will passively assent to the use of an amateur font in the production of a professional document.
And people who use two spaces between sentences. That’s really offensive and uncalled-for. Also what is it with people putting their periods inside their parentheses? I must have seen this a thousand times, it’s rampant. Sometimes I feel as though everything I know, or think I know, about punctuation, grammar and style is a cruel joke, a delusion implanted in my mind by some demon, and everyone else is looking at me, thinking, “look at him with his Arial 10-point, he really must be some kind of a cunt.”
This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 at 4:40 PM and filed under New stuff. Trackbacks are closed.
My job is to edit medical articles ready for publication in journals. The bain of my life is a full stop inside a parenthesis. Bastards. Or worse still, full stop then parenthesis then ANOTHER FULL STOP! Are they just doing it for pure spite?
You were joking weren’t you. You didn’t expect people to take it this seriously. Sorry.
Posted on 27-Sep-06 at 10:53 pm | PermalinkIf people don’t tell me these things, how am I supposed to know? (About the full stops inside parenthesis, I mean.).).).
Posted on 27-Sep-06 at 11:58 pm | PermalinkThis comment ends with nt too but I’ve had to strangle the sentence a bit to make it come out the way it’s meant.
When Voltan is lord and ruler of all, Comic Sans shall be obliterated from the face of the earth. Except perhaps for two instances:
1) In a museum, akin to the Black Museum. Its purpose to chill, warn and prohibit.
2) It shall be used on the death warrants of Voltan’s enemies. Ha ha.
Posted on 28-Sep-06 at 1:41 am | PermalinkOh dear. I was specifically taught to put two spaces between sentences. See?
Posted on 29-Sep-06 at 2:10 am | PermalinkMe too, pog. I was told at secretarial college that there are ALWAYS two spaces between sentences. Has this changed? Am I hopelessley out of date? What about changing the ribbon on my typewriter? Should I still be doing this before I remove my curlers?
Posted on 29-Sep-06 at 3:58 am | PermalinkSince the advent of computing a second space has become obsolete, as extra space to begin a sentence can be accounted for automatically.
Posted on 29-Sep-06 at 8:41 am | PermalinkYou know, Lilo, I can’t find out where the ribbon goes these days. It’s all very worrying.
Posted on 02-Oct-06 at 8:39 am | PermalinkI have absolutely no idea what your comment means, Voltan. ‘accounted for automatically’? What?
Zoe: give me spite over ignorance any day.
Norah: I recommend reading lots of medical journals.
Voltan: you are making exceptions? You disappoint me.
pog / lilo: that’s what people often say when I harangue them. “I was taught that way”, they bleat. Sometimes they go further, and explain that they were taught to leave a space the size of their pinkie. But I could not give two fucks about what they were taught!
Posted on 02-Oct-06 at 1:40 pm | PermalinkI totally agree with you. Anyone who uses Comic Sans MS should have their computer confisgated.
Posted on 05-Oct-06 at 3:50 am | Permalink