Saturday night’s alright for cultivating authentic happiness

To: Vancouver-Office-ALL
Subject: Dalai Lama

I have 2 club seats available for the Dalai Lama – Sat., Sept. 9th. – cost $148.83

Please email me if you’re interested – thanks, Paula (executive secretary)

——————–

I’m thinking of taking her up on this. A couple of seats in the corporate box, kick off my shoes, break out the champers, very nice. I’ll take Kate with me and pour oysters and caviare down her gullet while we soak up the sanctimonious platitudes in all their orange-robed glory. Maybe I’ll hang a 12ft Chinese flag from the balustrade, to help him feel at home. Well worth $300.

n.b. the title of the DL’s show is “Cultivating Authentic Happiness”. At that price he presumably means his own.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 28th, 2006 at 2:15 PM and filed under New stuff. Trackbacks are closed.

10 Responses to “Saturday night’s alright for cultivating authentic happiness”

  1. Moobs said:

    I visited a buddhist monstery high in the himalayas once. To my amazement it had a visitors’ centre. We sat down and watched video the essence of which was: (1) We are closely attuned with the universe (2) you are not; (3) give us some money.

    You should call the smug pacifistic monk out. Challenge him to a good old-fashioned dust-up. He won’t be able to take you on so you’ll look like you’re too hard for him and even if he could I reckon you could have the Dalai Lama. Only trouble is if you kill him he’ll reincarnate and you’ll be killing him over and over until you are well into your dotage.

  2. menace said:

    I don’t know Moobs. I’m not much of a street-fightin’ man myself. I’d probably have to get him wasted on martinis beforehand to guarantee success. And what if he reincarnated as a hardass sonofabitch? The last thing you want on your case is a pumped-up lama looking for a rumble.

  3. pete said:

    I want to be a guru or whatever he is, clearly that is where the money is. Do you think you need any qualifications?

  4. menace said:

    The first thing you need Pete is some robes. Have you got any robes? Then arrange to be oppressed by the Chinese Communist Party and presto, you’ll be the toast of vapid liberals the (Western) world over. Brad Pitt will praise your holiness to the heights of Hollywood.

  5. menace said:

    Or do I mean Richard Gere? These pretty-boy pantomimists are all of a cloth to me.

  6. pete said:

    Let’s see, I can make robes out of a curtain, breathing the wrong way should make the chinese communist party hate me, and then I just need to spout giberish. Guru by this evening.

  7. redshoes said:

    He eats meat.

  8. menace said:

    Well that’s one thing in his favour I suppose.

  9. jimi said:

    I think the tickets are for Dalai Lama, the death metal band rather then the Dalai Lama supreme head of Tibetan Buddhism and the the bodhisattva of compassion. (or small slap head as he’s called in his orange robed circles)

  10. menace said:

    I don’t know about death metal jimi, but godfathers of thrash Slayer visited the same venue recently with their “Unholy Alliance” tour, so you might just be right.

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