Homeobroccoli, Fat Fuck, crazed alcoholic
Homeopathy. Five syllables to make any reasonable person snort with derision, and then weep tears of penicillin at the absurdity of the whole idea.
But this morning I thought I’d give it a go with the baby’s breakfast. I diluted the minced broccoli 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times with oatmeal, so that the oatmeal retained only a scientifically-undetectable ‘memory’ of broccoli, and do you know what, she ate the sodding lot. Will this mend her (perfectly reasonable in my opinion) aversion to minced broccoli, or will it simply cure her of broccoli, which after all sounds more like a disease than a foodstuff? Not being a homopath, I don’t know.
Perhaps I should send that recipe to Heston Blumenthal so that he can flog it in his world-famous eatery ‘The Fat Fuck’.
My favourite bit of breakfast time is the stillness before the storm. Baby E is strapped in her chair, glancing feverishly from side to side, when her eye alights on the nosh and there is a tensile second of crackling anticipation before she lunges towards it, mouth gaping, like a crazed alcoholic in the vicinity of a 2l bottle of White Lightning.
This entry was posted on Friday, March 24th, 2006 at 8:53 AM and filed under New stuff. Trackbacks are closed.
And to think, you still have the joys of Brussel Sprouts to come…
Posted on 24-Mar-06 at 1:57 pm | PermalinkLunchtime results: demand for barley may outstrip supply. Uneaten broccoli mountain continues to grow. KE forsees lots of lungeing toward bottles, crazed-alcoholic-like, this evening, some of it even possibly by babies.
Posted on 24-Mar-06 at 2:33 pm | PermalinkPete: careful now. Only on special occasions with the sprouts.
KE: do you want me to pick up a bottle on my way back? Perhaps one of those bottles with a built-in handle for public swigging.
Posted on 24-Mar-06 at 2:46 pm | PermalinkJust one bottle? But what will you drink?
Posted on 24-Mar-06 at 3:36 pm | PermalinkYou’re feeding your baby White Lightning? Cool! I wish I’d thought of that.
Posted on 25-Mar-06 at 12:24 pm | PermalinkAnd when did you set up this corporate media empire? Have I missed something?
(Pissed old hack baffled by new technology)
Baby E sounds quite scary … how strong are the straps?
Posted on 27-Mar-06 at 7:20 am | PermalinkHallo Bill. Were you not invited to the launch party?
pog: I worry about that.
Posted on 27-Mar-06 at 8:43 am | Permalink