Inclementine
So she says to me, ‘would you like a clementine’, and I’m thinking ‘do I look like I’d like a flaming clementine, do I look like a fruity cunt to you do I’, I say to her ‘no thanks I’m fine’ and ‘go on’ she says, ‘it’s not going to kill you’, and I’m thinking ‘that’s hardly the point though is it, lots of things won’t kill you, raw cabbages won’t kill you and nor will fish eyes but that doesn’t mean I go around stuffing my stupid face with these things, just because I’ll live through it, does it, is it’ but not wanting an argument I take the clementine anyway, which is surprisingly small and bright and juicy and when she’s not looking I eat a bit of it and before I know it I’m cramming it into my gob, pith and all, juice all over my chin, up my nose, the luminous flesh of the thing bursting open in between my teeth, bits of clementine getting in my brain, zest oozing from my eyeballs, my hair all waving like a flaming orange anemone, and then suddenly everything seems hung in hyaline, and the room glows softly like a red and orange lantern in a storm.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 at 9:35 AM and filed under New stuff. Trackbacks are closed.
Tomorrow: plums.
Posted on 22-Mar-06 at 12:39 pm | PermalinkNo chance.
Posted on 22-Mar-06 at 12:44 pm | PermalinkSounds like you need a peach - laced with Doximol.
Posted on 22-Mar-06 at 12:46 pm | PermalinkI don’t think you eat enough fruit menace.
Posted on 22-Mar-06 at 12:58 pm | PermalinkOh no. They’ve got you too.
Posted on 22-Mar-06 at 12:59 pm | PermalinkBobble: ‘Doximol’ only gets 22 Google hits, which means it doesn’t exist. Still, it sounds fun, what is it?
Norah: fruit’s not been good to me in the past.
Pete: I’m afraid so.
Posted on 22-Mar-06 at 1:09 pm | PermalinkAre you sure it’s not a satsuma?
Posted on 23-Mar-06 at 12:36 am | PermalinkHe always taking the pith, that menace …
Posted on 27-Mar-06 at 7:25 am | PermalinkI remember ‘t days when he were a lad when he wouldn’t contemplate the idea of the notion of even considering eating oysters. KE cured him.
So I bet he’ll be eating plums soon.