Courtyard Marriott, Anchorage, AK
“If there is anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable, please do not hesitate to let us know.” Actually Yes. Better lighting. Get rid of the anodyne faux-native art. Complimentary scotch. A colonial ceiling fan. Maps, not Where’s Wally?-style pictorials catering solely to children and animals. Speaking of which, a spit-roast suckling pig at dinner on Wednesdays, and a ban on children. Tell the Gideons your guests will read only the Old, and never the “New” King James. And if you’re going to offer the book of Mormon, it should come with two of those cute Mormon chicks to feed me grapes while I read it in my executive black leather armchair. Oh yeah - and an armchair. Black. Leather. Eggs-eck-ute-iv. No fucking art. Free fucking scotch. That’ll do for now.
This entry was posted on Sunday, August 28th, 2005 at 7:08 AM and filed under Old stuff. Trackbacks are closed.
Cute Mormon chicks? You mean like…Marie Osmond?
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Posted on 28-Aug-05 at 2:03 pm | PermalinkExACTly! And that Donny, too, he’s a babe.
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Posted on 28-Aug-05 at 4:03 pm | PermalinkBack off, Donny’s mine.
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Posted on 28-Aug-05 at 5:05 pm | PermalinkAnd a better quality of chocolate on the pillow.
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Posted on 28-Aug-05 at 8:03 pm | PermalinkYou’d better watch it or that Moron(i) geezer’ll be paying you a visit …
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Posted on 30-Aug-05 at 8:04 pm | PermalinkThey could pay you to stay- eases all those wallet worries.The exciting about those mormon chicks is that they wear magic underwear.
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Posted on 14-Sep-05 at 5:02 am | Permalinkwait…have you migrated to alaska?!
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Posted on 28-Sep-05 at 5:04 am | PermalinkAhh, but the gym is always in the same place, as is the pool.
Posted on 04-Dec-05 at 3:04 am | Permalinkvery handy those courtyards if you intend coming back drunk, or are just good at getting lost in normal hotels..