things move around

I can’t remember how we got talking about the Aga Khan; I suppose it must have been one of those conversations that just flops into being for no good reason and then hovers around your head for the rest of the day. I could picture the Aga Khan, youthful and serene. “Who, or what, is the Aga Khan?” I said.

KE: What do you mean, ‘or what?’
Me: Well, he’s a ‘the’. Or ‘it’’s a he. Or is it a ‘the’ as in ‘there’s only one Aga Khan’, perhaps? Like professional wrestlers - ‘The Undertaker’ - or super-villains - ‘The Green Goblin’.
KE: Ah. Isn’t he an Ismaili muslim?
Me: The Green Goblin is a muslim?
KE: No, the Aga Khan. He’s the spiritual leader of the Ismailis.
Me: I thought the Israelis were Jewish?
Me: Ow, that hurt.
[Pause]
Me: And he made his fortune by selling stoves to the readers of ‘Country Living’ magazine.
KE: If anyone can do it, Aga Khan.
Me: You mean, Immanuel Kant, but Aga Khan?
KE: Exactly.
[Pause]
KE: Good singer, too.
Me: Get away.
KE: Don’t tell me you’ve never heard it?
Me: Heard what? If it dates from before 1985, then the answer’s no.
KE: [sighs] [sings tremulously]:

Aga, Aga, Aga, Aga khan
Aga khan, Aga khan, Aga khan
Aga khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Aga khan
Let me rock you, that’s all I wanna do
Aga khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Aga khan
Let me rock you, let me feel for you
Aga khan let me tell you what I wanna do
Do you feel for me, the way I feel for you
Aga khan let me tell you what I wanna do
I wanna love you, wanna hug you, wanna squeeze you too
Let me take you in my arms
Let me fill you with my charms, Aga
’cause you know that I’m the one to keep you warm
Aga, I’ll make you more than just a physical dream
I wanna rock you, Aga
Baby, cause you make me wanna scream
Let me rock you, rock you

Both:

I feel for you
I think I love you
I feel for you
I think I love you

Me: Yeah, it’s a good tune. But you know that Prince wrote it for the Aga. I mean, the Aga was just the lungs and the looks, really.
KE: It’s a total con.