things move around

is just what the doctor ordered

then he ordered a double scotch, and then a vodkatini

the next morning he slagged off my units

Attention seafarers!

Languishing in the doldrums? Running low on grog? Stuck in the millpond without oars?

Just perform the following invocation to unleash Pandora’s finest:

1. Make as if to spark up a cigarette. It helps if you are (a) gagging for a smoke and (b) pushed for time.

2. Feign turning the page of your broadsheet newspaper. For preference use the loose page in the middle.

3. At the first gust, say “Damn it all to buggery.” Close-reef your topsails and you’re away.

Pop my cork in New York
Kiss my ring in Beijing
Unwrap my turban in Durban
Let your cape down in Cape Town
Show me your maracas in Caracas
Wax down my bumper in Kuala Lumpa
Refill my biro in Cairo
Show me your wetland in Shetland
Polish my luge in Bruges
Lick my wick in Lerwick
Flip my lid in Madrid
Ram your cock home in Stockholm
Get your rocks off in Vladivostock
Drop your towell-o in Sao Paulo
Kiss my ring in Beijing
Have a horn in Melbourne
Sin in Berlin
Ram your cock home in Stockholm

and a special one:

Eat my beef in Wellington

And for the journey:

Let the juice loose in the caboose

I feel sure there are many, many more.