plan of action
I have often thought that the company I work for would be more efficient were it organised along military lines. All staff would wear insignia to denote their rank, and salute those staff of higher rank. Permission to speak would be required, and denied where appropriate, which would be most of the time. Battlefield promotions would be awarded for acts of bravery, but staff caught shirking would be blackballed or court-martialled.
Battlegroups would eat together in a mess. This would foster unity. Similarly, drills would be held on a daily basis to exercise the troops at vital tasks like Presenting, Engaging The Client, and Proper Maintenance of Laptops. A monthly drill-parade, inspected by a Major-General, would ensure standards were maintained.
Perhaps my most radical initiative, however, would be to remove women from front-line operations. This would not be a comment on their ability to do the work - some of them are as good as the men - but I have long considered them a distraction at times of crisis. It’s very important that everyone keeps a cool head, and if we have to pull out, that we are unsentimental with regard to those beyond help. I would therefore assign all female members of staff to support roles - logistics, communications and general morale-boosting.
I plan to put these proposals to the Executive Board this afternoon. Our clients won’t know what’s hit ‘em, by George!
This entry was posted on Sunday, May 18th, 2003 at 11:13 AM and filed under Old stuff. Trackbacks are closed.
Aye,aye Sarge….
Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 6:02 pm | Permalinkwe are definitely the gentler sex, very distracting in a crisis….when you find your toenails being pulled out by me (in a morale-boosting sort of way) I am convinced you will be distracted.
Your suggested command structure doesn’t even work that well for fighting wars. But if you must, how about digging some trenches?
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 6:04 pm | PermalinkI like the idea as long as big shinny helmets were introduced as part of the uniform………and I could carry a firearm to work……….
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 7:03 pm | PermalinkDear Ace
You can take me off the front line anytime. Especially if you stick me in a morale boosting situation - ha ha!
Maureen
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 9:04 pm | PermalinkDear heatherjb
I have heard say that too much mountain air can get you that way. Goat herders are renowned for it, I believe.
Maureen
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 10:00 pm | PermalinkDear Maureen, sometimes I think that your comments could have a double meaning? perhaps it’s just me.
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 10:00 pm | PermalinkAs long as I get to wear a pretty dress I don’t mind.
Who’s George?
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 10:01 pm | PermalinkI think it would be more millitary to make the battle groups eat together tidily. Maybe in formation. And certainly in time to a drum. But not bongos.
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 10:04 pm | PermalinkNobody seems to be taking this idea very seriously. What you lot need is a good dose of discipline, starting with a crew cut and thirty squats.
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Posted on 18-Aug-03 at 10:05 pm | PermalinkGod how I’ve yearned for a good dose of discipline…
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Posted on 19-Aug-03 at 12:04 am | PermalinkI think I can only manage a couple of squats, but if the other 28 don’t mind waiting for a little while….
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Posted on 19-Aug-03 at 3:00 am | Permalink